Her graphics are a holy art form, a gift from God. Her testimony is a testament to our Daddy’s faithfulness. And her words? They are here today for your encouragement. Please meet fellow blogger, Compel trainee, and graphic artist extraodinaire: Jana Kennedy-Spicer.
Photo Credit: Jana Kennedy-Spicer
Digging Out From The Rubble
Being a native of Dallas, I was glued to the TV with thousands of others as we watched our iconic Texas Stadium being imploded. Shortly after dawn on April 11, 2010 the button was pushed and all of the previously placed dynamite charges exploded. In just a matter of seconds, what had once been the vibrant and thriving home to our beloved Dallas Cowboys became a pile of broken and discarded debris.
Watching, I couldn’t help but be taken back to another implosion. The morning in 2004 when the abusive actions of a family member were made known – and our family imploded.
What in one moment was vibrant and thriving, lay broken in a pile of dust and debris in the next. In the moment of a single breath, our whole world changed.
I inhaled on the top of the world and exhaled, gasping for air, buried under a pile of broken so heavy I thought I would never resurface.
But God gave me a promise.
“I will rebuild and restore your family.”
“I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten.” Joel 2:25a
I’ve never heard the audible voice of God, but I’ve heard Him speak through the Spirit in my soul. And this message was plain and clear. So I had a choice, do I believe? We were in such a place, so broken, so separate, so bitter, so hurt, so angry; I knew the only way any of us could ever come back together would be a real live miracle personally executed by the holy hand of God.
So I chose to believe.
But I didn’t just believe, I believed with expectation. I began looking and watching and waiting and anticipating that day – that moment of restoration – like a kid waits for Christmas morning. I KNEW that day was coming, restoration was coming!
I just didn’t know long it would actually take, and how much worse it would get while we were waiting.
But God also gave me a charge.
“but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” Matthew 6:15
Now wait a minute God, surely do don’t mean I have to forgive this? Yes, I had to forgive – even this.
Forgiveness. I know now that I had no idea then, what that word truly meant. God took me on such a journey. It wasn’t overnight, it took years honestly, but God enabled me to forgive the unforgivable – once I made the choice to be obedient to Him.
The ladies from our church were gathered together for a weekend retreat. As a few of us held hands, our leader asked who wanted to offer their prayer request first, from my heart echoed, “forgive him.” I tried to shake it off, but I kept hearing “forgive him”. When each lady in our group had voiced their request and been prayed over, it was my turn.
In a cracking voice, I’m surprised anyone understood, I admitted my dilemma – and my disobedience. “Someone hurt my child …. And God keeps telling me I have to forgive him.” Then these beautiful women of God, surrounded me, laid hands on me and began to pray.
I could hold on no longer and at that moment, when I let go, I began to understand and experience the truth of forgiving others. One by one I felt God lifting off the weight each hurt, the ache of bitterness, the sting of every angry word, and yes, even the guilt I was carrying for myself.
After spending years trapped under the rubble and striving in vain to dig a way out, for the first time I could see a light through the rubble. The light of day, the light of hope, the light of my Lord reaching down and making a way.
There have been so many days that I wished God’s timing was my timing. In this microwave world, we want what we want and we want it with the least amount of effort possible.
But God wants us to be holy.
God wants to sanctify us. God wants us to fulfill our kingdom purpose. And in my personal experience, that doesn’t happen with a microwave life.
Just a few days ago, in my Facebook feed, several “memories” popped up. One, I know for sure was a reminder from God that He is faithful to deliver what He promises:
“havn lunch with all 3 kiddos and all 3 grbabies! First time I’ve had all of them together around the same table at the same time in forever!! My heart is happy!”
“But the righteous by faith shall live.” Habakkuk 2:4
That memory was from 2011. I’ll do the math for you – 7 years. Oh yes, God is faithful indeed! His timing is not our timing, but His ways are perfect!
If you are in your storm, in your battle, in the pit or buried under the rubble – Call out to Him. Wait on Him. Believe in Him. He is faithful!
Blessings Soul Friends,
Jana Kennedy-Spicer is a wife, mom and Nana who is passionate about inspiring and encouraging women on their daily walk with Christ. A woman rescued and repaired by the grace of God, she loves to share about the realness of God’s love, redemption and faithfulness.
You can connect with Jana on her website: www.SweetToTheSoul.com and social media.
Facebook: Sweet To The Soul Ministries