Kristi Woods

Encouraging Women to Walk Deeper with God

#YourStory: Lori Schumaker

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It was a morning I will never forget. There she was. Rosy cheeks. Curly black hair. And her almost black eyes? They wouldn’t let go.

A flood of emotions washed over me as I cried.

I’d seen my daughter for the first time.

 

Only the story didn’t go as I’d hoped.

 

It had been just over a year since we’d begun the paperwork for our adoption. Three months prior the Bulgarian approval was given and we waited for a match. International adoption is a complicated process involving lots of waiting so we prepared as best we could. We had yet to realize trusting and surrendering plays an enormous part in waiting well.

That rosy-cheeked little girl in my email inbox wasn’t the one the Ministry of Justice specifically matched to us. Instead, she was a child listed as having special needs allowing agencies to send her photos and medical records to families registered within their program.

I was nervous as I read her medical report because my husband and I believed we weren’t equipped to parent a child with severe special needs. Yet, I was convicted beyond the shadow of a doubt this little girl was the one God meant for us. She was a Schumaker.

 

But what if her report was filled with scary diagnoses?

 

What if my husband didn’t see it as I did?

 

I hesitantly opened the medical file. As I read through it, relief washed over me! Speech delay? We can handle that. Flat feet? What? Really? Since when is flat feet a special need? Developmental delay? Check. That’s expected from all children living in an institution and not receiving ideal care.

That night after our boys were tucked in bed sound asleep I told my husband to sit down. I asked him to look at a picture and to promise not to say a word until he fully listened to what I had to say.

But I didn’t need to say a thing. My stoic strong man couldn’t hide the emotions washing over him.

 

He’d seen his daughter for the first time, too.

 

A month later, our petition was set for presentation before the Bulgarian Ministry of Justice. Excitement filled our house that morning. It was the day it would be official! We would start the formal process of adopting our daughter.

With the kids off to school and my husband at work, I awaited the celebratory call. Our case worker was just as excited for us and couldn’t wait to make the happy call.

My cellphone rang and with anticipation, I answered. But the words I heard were not the words any of us expected. The answer was “no”. Our little girl had been given to another family.

Friends, I can’t put words to what God does in adoption. When He calls you, turning away from it is impossible. His call is relentless.

And He opens your heart to love deeply long before meeting your child.

Just as you love the child growing within your womb, God fills your heart with that same love for a child who may happen to live halfway around the world.

 

So in that moment, grief consumed every fiber of my soul.

 

When I told my husband, I heard the grief in his voice, too.

And when I picked up my two sweet from boys from school and watched the joy slip from their eyes, the grief settled in.

They couldn’t understand. We had all prayed so much. The conviction that THIS little girl was a Schumaker lived in each of us. This wasn’t supposed to happen. How could we have been so wrong?

The days and the months that followed were brutal. Something in me wouldn’t let go. That little girl was meant to be ours! I was sure of it! Why would God so strongly convict me of that and it not be true. I was angry. Angry at God for the roller coaster and for the confusion. Angry for what had already been over a year of paperwork and waiting.

My spirit refused to settle.

Week after week of phone calls to our case manager.

 

“Are you sure she was adopted by the other family? Can you prove it?”

“Please look into this. What if they changed their mind?”

“I still believe this little girl is meant to be ours. Please check again.”

 

Until one day I stopped wrestling with God and chose to surrender. She was never mine. She was His. And if He saw fit to firmly plant her in my heart so that I would pray for her all the days of my life, so be it.

 

And I would accept that gift with gratitude.

 

That night I gave my little girl back to her Father.

 

 

Yahweh’s hand was on me, and he brought me out in Yahweh’s Spirit, and set me down in the middle of the valley; and it was full of bones. He caused me to pass by them all around: and behold, there were very many in the open valley; and behold, they were very dry. He said to me, Son of man, can these bones live?

I answered, Lord Yahweh, you know.

Ezekiel 37:1-3 WEB

 

One week later and six months after we had lost her, God gave life to what we believed dead. Through a random comment on a Yahoo Adoption Chat Group, to a new friend in Ohio, and then to a stranger in Hawaii, I found out what my heart knew all along.

 

That little girl was a Schumaker.

 

 

On a desk in a faraway office lay a file with a picture of a rosy-cheeked little girl who had beautiful ringlet curls and the darkest of eyes. No one else knew it yet, but that little girl had a family halfway across the world madly in love with her who had been waiting a long time to bring her home.

Of course, those months of her living in an orphanage continue to grieve my heart, yet I know God had work to do. He knew the journey we would have with our little one and He knew we needed to know how to wait well.

And we needed to know that trusting Him enough to surrender it all is the key to waiting through all the journeys of life.

 

Trusting Him enough to surrender - the key to waiting through all life's journeys. @Lori_Schumaker Click To Tweet

 

About Lori~

Lori is an encourager at heart. She has spent her life learning of the hope and victory available when we embrace our identity in Christ. Today, when she isn’t busy being a wife and Mom to her three children, she teaches, ministers, coaches, speaks, and writes to share that hope with others. Wherever you find yourself today – walking through the difficult, needing to get unstuck to follow your purpose, or simply experiencing a season of beautiful chaos, Lori’s blog found at www.lorischumaker.com is a place where you can get a virtual hug from someone who truly understands. You can also connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Pinterest

 

Linking up here: #raralinkup, #heartencouragementThursday, #chasingcommunity

Ready to Grow in Faith? Soak in these 5 Summer Online Pieces

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Imagine a seed. Got a picture in mind?

Let’s take our seed and drop it into a nice hole in the ground, then gently cover it with soil. With a little time, warmth and water, our friend will emerge as a spring-green seedling.

We’ll cheer for our little seedling. Grow baby, grow!

 

And it will grow – if conditions are right.

 

And do you know what else? It’ll produce fruit when the plant reaches maturity. All those sweet, juicy fruit droplets melting from mouths across the world will cause people near and far to offer a chorus of hallelujahs. (There’s nothing like a ripe mango or peach, picked straight off the tree!)

But what if our seedling quits growing?

 

Snap!

Bam!

Done!

 

(Wow! Did sadness just blanket the scene or what?!)

Our seedling simply refuses to grow. Then what?

So long fruit. So long maturity.

How sad to think of the potential lost. And how silly for our little friend to stay a seedling forever. What can it accomplish as only a seedling?

 

 

In July we noted several fiction ministry reads here. Shall we take a look at non-fiction pieces?

Below is a handy listing of several helpful pieces written for various outlets. All are tools aiding spiritual growth, keeping Kingdom fruit in mind. All of these, all in one place – for us.

Enjoy the reads, and grow baby, grow!

 

Here’s a new piece published recently. It sits ready for times when Bible reading grows stale or we’re simply not certain what book of the Bible to read.

 

This LifeLetter Cafe link has several good pieces to read. Scroll down near the bottom for 3 Powerful Ways.

 

Life feeling heavy? It happens, and it’s hard to garner encouragement during those times. Take a peek at these five verses. See how God speaks to you through them.

 

Discouragement is a bear. Consider God’s Word the hunter, ready to overcome harm’s threat.

 

This one consists of many pieces written by folks all over the globe. Perhaps there’s a piece waiting to encourage your faith.

 

Lastly, a little reminder that WORD17 is on semi-vacation during August. This month’s memory verse is here, never fear, but it’s supporting Monday posts are on vacation. WORD17 will return as normal on Monday, September 4. In the meantime, look for 1 published post of varying, faith-filled content each Tuesday.

YourStory: Debbie McDaniel

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God Can Bring Beauty from the Greatest Struggles:

No Matter What We Face, He Crowns Our Lives with Good, He Will Never Waste Our Pain

By Debbie McDaniel

 

She came downstairs early one morning, bleary eyed, wearing her favorite kitty cat pajamas, sparkly princess tiara sitting on top of tousled, tangled hair. She cuddled up next to me, and smiled, “Mom, just because your hair’s messy, doesn’t mean you can’t still wear a crown.” 🙂

Ahh, so true. And not only for a sweet 7 year-old girl who just rolled out of bed and plopped a sparkly tiara on her head. But for you. For me.

Just because life is messy, doesn’t mean we can’t still wear a crown. Because of whose we are.

 

Just because life is messy, doesn't mean we can't still wear a crown. Because of whose we are. ~@DebbMcDaniel Click To Tweet

 

We are children of the King. He crowns our lives with good. He crowns our lives with purpose. He crowns our lives with beauty.

Even in the midst of things that look messy, the most difficult of days, or every dull, ordinary moment, He causes light still to shine. In the struggles and all. We may not see it. We might forget it’s there.

Life tangled and tousled. Mess of struggle and cares. Yet, no matter what it all looks like or how bleak the future feels, the truth is this: we still wear His crown.

And it’s often in our darkest, that God’s power shines the brightest.

 

 

For greatest beauty is often formed in dark places.

Many times we want to shine without the pain and uncertainty of what the hard stuff brings. We long to reflect beauty without the glaring weakness of deep cracks that line our stories and fill us with holes. We want to cover what was broken and scarred, masking the struggles of a past that took us down difficult pathways. And yet, embracing the beauty of the broken is what enables us to live free.

Really free.

With greater purpose. Changed hearts. Renewed focus and vision.

I became acquainted with the clutches of grief through the first few years of a journey through infertility. We walked that path much longer than we wanted, it often seemed more like a crawl, and became slower than we ever dreamed we’d have to endure. 7 years. Of many tears. And lonely suffering of the heart.

When my husband and I had married, we often talked about having a house full of kids. He was a Children’s Pastor, I worked as a Pediatric nurse. We both loved children, loved God, and dreamed of having a large family. But we had never dreamed of this…a long road of uncertainty through infertility, unanswered questions, doctor’s appointments, grief, and pain. It just didn’t make sense. Why would God allow that to happen? What good could ever come from it? It seemed cruel. Like some kind of a twisted joke.

Over the years, I’d watched so many of my friends and family get pregnant, start families, then even get pregnant again, with their second baby. Mother’s Day and other holidays were often brutal, filled with many tears and heartache. I’d try to be happy, stay hopeful, but inside I felt crushed, and struggled with deep despair. The enemy worked overtime. He loves to kick us while we’re down, and he’s great at filling our minds with lies and fear, that we’re somehow “less than,” that we don’t measure up, or that we’re broken, alone, and unloved.

Over time, we sensed God’s strong pull towards adoption. Surely, we thought, this was His plan all along. And we waited for everything to fall into place. Nicely. Neatly. Yet our excitement soon waned with more waiting, more heartbreak, as we then trudged through 2 failed adoptions.

I desperately wanted off that path rooted with potholes and weeds. I stumbled often, and sometimes lost steam…I will never forget. I remember still. How slow it all seemed.

I was angry with God for many months. Even years. I couldn’t understand what He was doing. But no matter how distant I’d grow, His grace was still there, so faithful, so secure. He would often remind me that neither my anger, feelings, nor my questions, could ever determine or dictate how much He really loved or cared. Because it wasn’t based on me, it was based on Him, His character. And God can’t help but to love His children, and bless our lives with good, even straight through the hardest places. Nothing we can do can ever stop Him. He is never taken off guard by our emotions, He understands our pain before the tears even roll down our cheeks. And His heart is ever toward us, and His ears are open to our cries.

 

His heart is ever toward us...His ears are open to our cries. ~ @DebbMcDaniel Click To Tweet

 

It’s been years now, since that time. We have 3 precious children that God graced our lives with through the gift of adoption. Our oldest is 15, then 11, then 10. And every day I look into the sweet faces, and I recognize God’s Sovereignty and plan. I’m reminded how the dark seasons really do bring so much good, stronger faith, deeper character, great blessings, more than what the pleasant places could ever bring.

In case you need a reminder today, if you’ve been left feeling forgotten, wounded, or battle-weary from the trials and struggles of this life, be assured, you’re not alone. Not ever. In the midst of all you face, God sees you, He’s with you. You wear a sparkling crown that says, “redeemed,” “restored,” “set free,” “chosen,” “set apart.” He’s put it there, it’s secure and shining, and nothing can ever take it away. It stays firmly in place, even among hard times and messy days.

And that gives us the power we need to press on – scars, struggles, messy lives and whatever that brings – into all of our tomorrows.

He will never waste the pain we’ve walked through in this life, but will turn it around for good. He promises. And He is able to do more than we could ever imagine, even through every season of brokenness.

Keep moving forward in His grace and strength my friends. He has more still in store, such purpose and hope…for you.

 

“…like the jewels of a crown they shall shine on his land.” Zechariah 9:16 ESV

 

“To bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.” Is 61:3 NIV

 

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

 

 

Debbie McDaniel is a pastor’s wife and mom to 3, who loves good stories, good coffee, and every sunrise. She’s a writer for sites such as Crosswalk and iBelieve.com, and would love the chance to connect with you on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or at www.debbiemcdaniel.com.

 

Linking with other Jesus writers here: #raralinkup, #testimonyTuesday, #heartencouragementThursday, #chasingcommunity. 

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