God, Why Am I Feeling This Way? How to Go Beyond Feeling Left Out

God, why am I feeling this way? with leaf and water in the background

God, why am I feeling this way — feeling left out? Have you ever asked the question?

Better yet, have you ever used a cookie cutter?

They’re related. Trust me. Read along, and you’ll see.

Each December during my younger years, Mom whipped up a batch of sugar cookie dough. Man, she made THE BEST Christmas cookies! I suspect the touch of lemon somehow worked magic.

We rolled out a clump of dough, positioned cookie cutters “just right”–to fit as many as possible in one roll-out (because who needs extra work, right?!), then we baked the little guys till their edges cried, “Crisp!” Once those bits of sweetness cooled, we added the sugary wonderland of colored icing and dancing sprinkles.

Oh.my.heavenly.sweet tooth.word.

I popped one or two–okay, a FEW!–in my mouth. (And that’s probably why my weight mocks me today.) A treat like that dances in the mouth.


The Hurt of Being Left Out: The Other Day

I thought about cookies and those cookie cutters just the other day. But thoughts swirling around them didn’t include the scrumptious or delectable. (Does a 9-year old call anything “delectable”? Probably not, but you get the picture.) No, it carried a tinge of hurt.

In a situation recently, I felt like a glob of dough, small and pitiful, staring up at the sharp edges of a giant, mean ‘ole cookie cutter. The metal baking gadget eyed me, I’m certain. (It probably even grunted and released puffs of smoke from its nostrils…or maybe that’s an imagination simply going wild.) Then, it set its borders–fencing in a select piece, calling me it its own–then the blasted thing press downward, slicing straight through…

I’d been left out.

Coralled and cut by the sharp edges of, What about me? Am I not important enough? 


It’s never fun when the switch flips from “you” to “not you.”  It feels as though we’ve been cut straight out of the picture, doesn’t it?

And when we’ve given our time, effort, money, emotions–whatever–oh, friend…

Sigh #2.

Call it a form of rejection. Of being tossed aside, unwanted, maybe even–or simply–forgotten.

Whatever its name, it hurts. It hurts the ego. It hurts the heart. It hurts relationships. And sometimes, it hurts faith.

As I sat in the chair, crossing my legs, then uncrossing them again, shifting from one hip to the other, I whimpered a silent cry for help.

“Lord, why am I feeling this way?”

“Left out” and “not important enough” caught me off-guard. Wisdom from God, a verse I’ve studied in detail–and how “funny” its imminent need–assured those emotions proved mine to corral.

Proverbs 4:23 in black letters with driftwood in the background

For goodness sake, I knew the person didn’t leave me out intentionally. Even if they had, where was my hope? Did I really need their assurance or reassurance for my security? Why was this misunderstanding such a big batch of internal hoopla?

My head knew I shouldn’t get upset. But in all honesty, I wrestled.

Emotions cut and clawed in my heart, assuring a sprint elsewhere, anger boiling over, a grudge held like a big batch of sucked in air, or an offer of a solid slice of silent treatment–whether in small form or large fashion–presented safe escape.

But none did. God’s Word assures differently.


This place in which we feel corralled and cut straight to the core is not a foothold for rejection–it doesn’t have to be, at least. The choice remains ours. What will we do with these emotions and feelings that flare?

Call it opportunity, a heart issue God desires to heal.

Consider it maturity.

As we flex muscles of faith versus feelings, we find healing. We find God.

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Start Here

When rejection rears, start by simply asking, “God, why am I feeling this way?”

Then search Him, rest in Him, and wait on Him until our Father makes clear the answer.

Because by golly, when we feel left out, we’re setting hope in people–not man.

As the words Edward Mote scribbled, my hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.

(For a little soothing music, click here.)

He is our meter, our cookie cutter of the scrumptious kind. He is the heavenly ever after.

Friend, a life wrapped in rejection ain’t our gig. God deemed us accepted.

So refuse offense, okay?

Hold forgiveness close.

And let faith lead the way.

He died for all written in black with a white backdrop and stone and a puddle behind it

So if you’re feeling left out….

Start with God, not the gut. Journey with truth, not feelings running rampant.

Remember, when you are drawn, you are not cut away. You may be set apart, but in Christ, you, my friend, are accepted.

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Halloween hits this week.

So does the 3rd anniversary of my father’s ascent to heaven. (Read more about the journey beyond his death here or here.)

I loved Halloween as a kid because of the candy. I didn’t trust it as an adult. Three years ago it became a bad taste in my mouth. After all, who desires to mark a loved one’s death date on a day of ghouls and goblins? But love conquers all. And my dad’s assurance to me of his salvation brought hope that neither death or Halloween could hinder.

So it’s Halloween, and I’d love to shed the light on hope.

If you died tonight, would you land in heaven or hell? Why?

Won’t you allow Jesus to save you from your sins today? What better anniversary? He’s the key to heaven, to an eternity of love and goodness. What better way to spend Halloween then by spreading light amid the darkness?

If He’s drawing you, if life isn’t going well, won’t you come close? If something seems missing, won’t you allow Him to fill it? Scroll to the “Salvation” graphic at the bottom of this page. (I cringe a bit typing that, but since we’re not face-to-face…) Offer God your prayer if you’re ready for heaven’s assurance, if you’d like eternal forgiveness for your sins. One name is your key: Jesus.

Happy fall, y’all.

Do you struggle with rejection?

Removing the Sting of Rejection

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  1. It’s so hard to feel set apart, not chosen. But remembering God chose me and set me apart for His purposes gives my heart a place to rest that brings peace where there’s unrest.

    Love your invitation, Kristi, and your heart for others.

  2. Oh I’ve been in that spot you describe so many times, friend. And it ain’t fun! Grace and peace to you.

    I think we can grow so much by asking that question you pose, “God, why am I feeling this way.” Kind of like David’s words, “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:23,24

  3. I have asked God that very question, “Why do I feel this way?”

    Taking that question to God is always the beginning of my healing. One, I am seeking God’s guidance. Two, I desire to learn rather than languish. Finally, I am ALWAYS amazed and inspired at what he births from a seemingly hopeless feeling.

    Spot-on, Kristi. Thank you for your authenticity!

  4. Great word Kristi! Great analogy! Boy, haven’t we all been there, usually, in my case, the culprit is miscommunication. In the world we live in people are so overwhelmed by tasks & responsibilities that they just trudge through life with horse blinders on just trying to press through, leaving a wake behind them….oh I’ve been there too! Thank God for His grace that operates on both sides….the offended and the offender. ????????????????????

  5. Oh I have felt that way plenty…and it seems to happen even more so since I started blogging. It is like the enemy just wants to use those moments to make us feel more miserable than we should. Excellent post!

  6. Hi Kristi. I do love that we can ask questions like, ‘God, Why Am I Feeling This Way?’ I love that He helps us sort through our emotions so we can best understand what we’re going through so we can choose exactly what we want to do with our sometimes random thoughts.

    Thanks for putting this on the table this week.

    1. Isn’t it a relief that our God opens the door, allowing us to ask questions like this? He’s a good God, Linda, but then again, you already knew that didn’t you? 😉

  7. I really struggle with this. Circumstances from my childhood and even into adulthood with my sister seem to bring this up time and time again. Just went through this again recently and it has hurt our relationship. I so want to heal from this lifelong hurt. Thank you for sharing, I will be seeking God more on this. God bless.


    1. Father,
      Thank You for Molly, for creating her specific to Your plans. For knitting her in her mother’s womb. For noticing her and holding close a good and righteous plan for her life. Uproot all the binds her, Lord. Her sister, too. Uncover any wrong beliefs brought on by life’s events. Heal those wounds with Your magnificent power, Almighty One. Bring restoration. Because You are the God who hears, who sees, who knows, and who heals. In You, we place our trust, and to You we pray, Jesus. Amen.

      Praying you find His comfort and healing, Molly. Cling, because He’s our true Help.