Today’s post comes to us straight from the guest key clicks of Stacey Taylor. A fellow laborer in the Christian homeshooling endeavor, Stacey’s path and mine were crossed as military spouses in Hawaii. Her glass always seems to be half full or overflowing at the berm. In fact, her family appears to have such a wealth of fun (and takes the neatest pictures!) that I secretly wish I were in Stacey’s clan (wink, wink). They do have a good time, and it’s nearly impossible to not enjoy the pictures she posts. She shines brightly in God’s kingdom, not because of pictures or her earlier years modeling, but because she has a heart after God and, after a few moments with her, you’ll have all the evidence you need. Enjoy this post written in the Pacific Northwest by Stacey, just for you.
Then Samuel said,
“Speak, for your servant is listening.”
1 Samuel 3:10b NIV
“Look Mom! It’s 1:11pm…my favorite time of the day!” or “Hey, it’s 3:45! Get it; 3-4-5 make a wish!”
Whether it is 12:12, 11:11 or 1:23 a.m. or p.m., catching the clock at a numerical sequence is quite fun. I see Facebook and emails get in on this too, asking people to make a wish, because after all, it is the twenty-third day of the 1st month and at 4:56pm if you forward this email…this picture…say these words…all your dreams will come true!
I admit, it is quite fun catching these times especially when you can subtract all the numbers and it becomes your birth year or when these same numbers are never going to be repeated again, for like…a hundred-million years.
Noticing 3 a.m. as a child though, does not bring the same type of “joy” when noticing it as a teen, as a young adult, or as a newly married, young woman. Especially, when you are woken, notice the time, and are consumed by a feeling as if someone just shook your shoulders, told you a mean joke, lit your house on fire, or screamed at your very soul that you are worthless, horrible, unlovable.
My anxious mind races over my previous day trying to figure out all my relationships and reasoning behind all behaviors.
Am I what I think I am?
Is my life other than what I believe it to be?
Oh, this anxiety awakens me to a high-alert status that I can only willingly duplicate downing a triple shot of espresso and swallowing the realization of horrid news!
No, catching the clock at 3 a.m. like this is not fun.
I have prayed for this 3 a.m. awakening to stop for many years. Taught to pray it away, to claim my mind for the Lord; to only think what is good, what is right, what is pleasing. I believed this was evilness able to wake me up, get into my mind, take-over my thoughts and at the same time…every night. Why would a loving God allow this and why 3 a.m.?
One 3 a.m. I woke up and said with conviction,“Yes God. I hear YOU!”
I remember this night specifically because I had a rush of calm come over my heart. Instead of pulling the covers over my head and hiding from my feelings, I first acknowledged my Faithful, loving God who promises NEVER to leave me. God then filled my heart that this was not a time for anxiousness, but a good time for prayer as I am in a quiet place, meeting HIM at a slow time, when HE has ALL of me.
I have always prayed in all things- while I am sitting down, standing up, while I am walking, teaching, cooking, doing the laundry, etc. I was a “busy-person-dedicated-prayer-girl” and I believed this to be not only enough but, true prayer meditation.
This 3 a.m. is less about me and my anxiety at night and ALL about HIM and HIS pursuit of my heart. All day I was talking to HIM all the while busy doing other things. Not looking at HIM in the eye, not giving my full body, heart, soul-full attention. How I get after my own family members about this type of communication and rudeness!
I still awaken to this time of night with anxiety, sure a gentle nudge, a kiss on the cheek, a stroke on my brow would be a much softer way to get my attention, but I don’t have a good history of doing things the easy way. Waking up, quietly listening to HIS heart for me, HE has shown me how to settle my own daily anxieties by drawing nearer to Him in real prayer.
“Holy Spirit 3 a.m.” is what I call it.
I have grown in discerning HIS voice and now awaken with,
“Who can I pray for Lord?”
“Who can I pray for Lord?”
About Stacey ~
I am an active duty wife to a Navy Chief in Washington State and a homeschool mother to two boys and two girls ages 5 to 18. Facilitating an on-line bible study through LoveGodGreatly.com starts my mornings in the right direction, giving me energy and a good heart adjustment before I start my day.
I am originally from Palm Springs, CA, have been a licensed hair stylist for 14 years, have a background in modeling and being a platform artist at hair shows. I now wear fancy bedazzled-jeans, boots, drive an F-250 diesel truck with two Labrador Retrievers in the cab and hay and feed pellets dusting my back bumper. Living the Pacific Northwest lifestyle is new to me, but I jumped at the opportunity to learn about hobby farming. For the past 2 1/2 years we have raised chickens, turkeys, meat rabbits, sheep, pigs, a Dexter beef cow, as well as maintaining 900 square feet of vegetable garden. Canning and preserving fruits and vegetables, processing and smoking meats, 4-H clubs, as well as crocheting are on-going study and practice for the entire household. Oh…and I drive a tractor while wearing lipstick and aviator sunglasses…keeping it classy!
HIS Peace ><> Stacey Taylor
You can find Stacey on Facebook here.
OMG I used to wake up at around 3am too before! I don’t know when it stopped and how but it just did. I used to be afraid too because they say that 3:00 is an unholy hour. Jesus was said to die during that time. It is a mockery to God of some sort. But then again, we have the 3 o’clock prayer before. And then a friend told me (maybe to ease my fear) that 3 o’clock is when God sends your angel to collect your prayers and wish and get them to Him. Somehow that childish thought gave me comfort whenever I wake up at that hour. Now I work on graveyard so I am obviously already awake 3 am that I don’t even notice it.
How you shift it from feeling worse to speaking to God is amazing. And how you’re using it to pray for people, wow girl you made it your mission. Your own Holy hour. Maybe next time you wake up 3am you can pray for me? 🙂
Blessings to you and your family!
Well, SuperLux first of all I want to thank you for allowing your soul to be so wonderfully open about your experience. It can be soo scary to just WAKE UP with a feeling of (worlds definition) anxiety at such a lonely time of night. What I felt the urge to share with you is to remember the Bible is Holy and True. Written by a God that forever IS and will forever BE. That being said, HIS Word is valid and true and right-on during these times! So what does the bible say about this Fear? Isaiah 41:10 writes “‘Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” These verses were written to encourage the Faith OF the servants of God in their distress. So remember SL~God is soo loving that HE reminds us to not look around us, but straight up to HIM during these times.
I do recognize, now, that during these 3 a.m. wake up’s my mind was racing all about the previous day WITHOUT even having to try. That is not a settled soul as my body was resting but my spirit was fretting. Giving My Lord God my mind, my heart, my soul, my movement, my countenance during the day allowed my spirit to sleep through the night.
You are so right and I am thrilled that you caught how I felt soo horrible and shifted it to SERVING HIM in prayer. For our Lord Jesus the Christ came to serve, not to be served (Matthew 20:28 ) so I have found healing and strength by praying for those around me instead of always being soo concerned….about, well me. ><>