What Grief Does to You

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I hadn’t intended on sharing this today, but then Kobe Bryant died on Sunday, thrusting many into a world of sadness and despair. It’s a funny thing, what grief does to you.


The sports world and more reeled at the news–young and old fans alike. Another talented voice silenced. Nine in that helicopter in all. How could this have happened? What now? They–we–are faced with grief.

I faced this monster after my father’s death. We knew he was dying. We had several days to prepare, but there’s one thing I didn’t expect: feelings of desperation during his final days. It was grief’s beginning.

Walking Through Grief

As Kobe excelled on the basketball court, my Dad did under the hood of automobiles. If he couldn’t find a car part, he’d create one. If he pulled a tractor, raced a vehicle, or showed a car, he’d most likely win. He was a genius with motors.

In his final days, as I began walking through grief, an odd thought hit.

He can’t go. The world can’t afford to lose his mechanical ability. What will we do?

Desperation. Maybe normal. Maybe not. But it was all mine. Have you experienced it, too? Maybe family members, friends, and fans of those who died Sunday are as well.

Losing that precious, gifted person equates to swallowing an apple whole. It just ain’t made to happen. Or so it seems. Alas, there is a time to be born and a time to die. But it doesn’t make it any easier.

Walking through grief stinks. Period. But rest in this, precious one. God has a plan. Nibble that apple in pieces. One bite at a time–because sometimes that’s all we can muster. And that’s okay. No need to swallow it whole.

Even in grief, our God remains trustworthy. Cling to the Strong Tower.

Even in grief, our God remains trustworthy. Cling to the Strong Tower. #grief #hope #kobe #death Prov. 18:10 Share on X

Finding Hope After Death

It sounds cliche, but hope amid grief can be found in the Lord. It’s not wrong to grieve. We should. And if tears flow, so be it. But God doesn’t leave us hopeless, even when we hurt with such intensity.

Hope in Grief Through Jesus

There’s the hope of eternity through belief in Jesus Christ. This brings the utmost comfort in a time when comfort seems lost. See this link to read more about salvation. But let’s focus on our feelings of desperation amid grief in this post.

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Hope for Desperation

Even those feelings of desperation–of losing the golden gift of a person–are quenched by Him. He takes the loss and causes us to see it as gain–the benefit of having this person on earth, in our lives, in the hearts of many.

Celebrate His handiwork–that He created them in His likeness and image.

God finetunes our focus from the loss to the gain. Sometimes this takes time. A good bit of time. And that’s okay. But what a relief from the intense heaviness when that focus turns.

Desperation dwindles when we hold close the gain of having that person in our life and in the lives of others. What if God would never have created them and they never walked this earth? What a loss! We are better because they were here. Society gained, too.

Praise You, God, for Your creation–those loved ones we miss.

Praise You, God, for Your creation–those loved ones we miss. #grief #findinghope #kobe #death Share on X

Hope in Death Scripture

There’s one scripture I clung to while walking through grief. God proved Himself mighty and faithful with it, but that’s an amazing story I’ll share some other time. For now, as we walk out the days after Kobe’s and our loved one’s death, hold this scripture tight to your heart.

Pray it over the friends and family of the deceased. Proclaim to God for yourself. And keep eyes on the one who loves us like no other, our true Helper. May God comfort us all.

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort; who comforts us in all our affliction, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, through the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”
(2 Co. 1:3-4 WEB)

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  1. Thanks for speaking to this, Kristi. I was more saddened than I expected by this event and the loss of these families. I also loved what Jennifer Dukes Lee said: After grieving fully, Let’s give thanks for life and live today to the fullest because we do not know how many days we have. (paraphrase) Thank you for sharing some of your wonderful dad with us.

    1. It’s amazing how far and wide this accident has impacted folks. It’s amazing what grief does to you. Praise God for Kobe, his daughter, and the others in that helicopter.