Please join me in welcoming Iris Peterson to the blog. Iris and I met through the online writer’s training group, COMPEL Training. Her words are humble but staunch in the Spirit. There’s power in their midst. Enjoy!
As I walked out of my co-worker’s classroom, I realized that decades of questions and moments of pain had been erased.
I don’t know the moment that I was set free from the spirit of rejection, but I knew that my co-worker’s words had not snatched a scab from a closely guarded wound. Her words had led me to a place of gratefulness as I realized that I no longer hurt. The wound was no longer closely guarded, it was completely healed.
I learned that I was adopted when I was ten years old.
My parents were the best things to ever happen to me and they gave me unconditional love and introduced me to my Heavenly Father who loved me from the moment I was conceived. Although they provided me with everything that I needed to be successful, I always felt that I had to please others and that my best was never good enough. I wondered if I had done something as an infant that caused my birth mother to “give me up for adoption.” I always felt like I did something wrong.
I lived my life pleasing others and looking for approval in everything that I did.
If I extended, or in most cases, overextended myself to help others, I felt a sense of accomplishment because I was giving help where it was needed. I ascribed value to my life by the amount of help that I was able to offer to others.
My life soon looked like a modern-day crisis center. If I thought someone needed me, I would go out of my way to offer assistance.
I did not always pray about these decisions because I just wanted to be included.
I wanted to be liked.
I wanted to be needed.
I had many failed relationships because I wanted to change others and be the one that made the difference in their lives. If I didn’t make an impact or create change, I would feel that I wasn’t good enough or that I had failed.
I read books on approval addiction and learning when to say yes and how to gracefully say no. I still felt a sense of obligation to be everything to everybody.
Then I received an email from a co-worker asking for tech assistance. I provided her the resources she needed and sat with her and her students the next day to make sure that everything moved smoothly. She informed me that she would work with her students in class the following day.
She didn’t ask for additional help, but I decided to stop by just in case I could offer assistance.
I walked into her room, confident and prepared. And it happened.
She waved me away and said, “I don’t need you.”
I walked away and stood outside of her room to process it all.
I could not count the times that someone’s actions had indicated that I wasn’t needed, but I did not recall anyone ever saying those words to me. Her words were strong, but they did not hurt me.
As I stood in the hallway, I was able to grasp the impact that my thinking has had on my decisions in life. I was not needed at that moment because I had already given the teacher the tools that she needed to be successful.
Likewise, I wasn’t given up for adoption because I did anything wrong, but there was a bigger plan that God wanted to fulfill in my life.
If you have wrestled with feelings of insecurity and rejection, know that God loves you and he cares about every aspect of your life.
Your prayers have been heard, and He will answer. ~Iris Peterson Click To Tweet
“And we are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him. And since we know he hears us when we make our requests, we also know that he will give us what we ask for” (I John 5: 14-15 NLT).
The pains of the past were erased and I understood that the healed scar will simply point others to a Father who hears, answers, and brings peace to a troubled mind.
Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright ©1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, a Division of Tyndale House Ministries, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
About Iris ~
Iris Peterson is a writer, speaker, singer, and ministry leader. She is passionate about sharing a message that will empower and encourage others. Iris is a mom of two teens and she resides in the Piedmont-Triad area of North Carolina. She hosts a podcast and a blog entitled Iris’s Insights
Facebook: www.facebook.com/ILPMinistries.org
Twitter: @ILPMinistries
Podcast: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/iriss-insights/id1199671852?mt=2
Email: iris@ilpministries.org
I loved reading your story, Iris! We adopted our daughter as an infant. She is now almost 9 and has known about her adoption since the beginning. I know she deals with some of the same thoughts you dealt with about being “given up.” Your story reminds me that she belongs to God and he will use whatever pain she deals with, whether it is related to her adoption or something else, for good.
Thank you for being an instrument of love and healing in the life of your precious little girl. I don’t know you, but I know that your daughter is blessed because God chose you to be her mom! I will lift her in prayer and I am excited about the beautiful future that awaits her. I am so thankful that this message was a blessing to you!
Dear Kristi … I LOVE your intro to Iris –>’Her words are humble but staunch in the Spirit.’
Wow, could anything finer be said about us?! Thank you for sharing your friend … and a reminder that humility and godliness is a powerful combo.
Linda, her introduction brought tears to my eyes and have been resonating in my spirit since I read them. Many blessings to you!
So touching! Keep writing, Iris. He speaks through these words of yours.
It’s a joy to share Iris with you and others, Linda. Her words have resonated in my heart many times. The Lord uses this woman. <3
Great story Iris! I’m a people-pleaser also!
I love your perspective shift!
Visiting from #Raralinkup
Thank you Julie! Isn’t it amazing that He can give us that perspective shift when we least expect it?
Iris, thanks for sharing your beautiful story here. I sometimes have that need to be needed as well, but I’m learning to let go of it.
How beautiful that you are learning to rest in God’s love for you through being adopted. I know your story will encourage many. A friend of mine has adopted two children, and they have similar feelings.
Iris! I’m so grateful to know more about you, to learn part of what motivates your ministry. God uses every shard of our lives and your testimony shows that so well. Thank you for sharing. <3
Thank you for sharing your story. I have experienced similar feelings many times in life! But knowing Christ has helped, He loves us, and we are valuable to Him! Praise God. Beautiful message.
Thank you you for sharing your story Iris. Your honesty and heartfelt love for God is evident here. It is inspiring to read how God revealed to you that you are foreve His, and now you show His love by how you live. Thank you Kristi for sharing Iris’s story with us. It was an inspiration to read. I wish you both a wonderful weekend and may God continue to bless you and your families.
Isn’t her story a good, good God story, Horace? I love it! How are you, my friend? God’s brought you to mind and situated you in prayer lately. The blogosphere seems a little “Horace-quiet.” Glad to see you here today.
Hi Iris, I don’t believe we’ve met in Compel yet. Nice to meet you. What a sweet testament to the healing comfort of God’s unconditional acceptance. You’re so right, we can choose to control our thoughts and center them on truth. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that, but oh the freedom that knowledge brings. Thanks for this reminder today. And thanks for sharing Iris with us, Krisit. ((hug))
It’s my pleasure to open this space to Iris. <3 Thanks for stopping by, Brenda.
What a beautiful story. It is full of encouragement for all people-pleasers easily feeling rejected who are learning we are beautiful daughters of the King. Your words were a balm to my soul because this is a lesson I need to practice over and over.