by Liz Giertz, guest blogger/writer
I don’t know about you, but the longer I’m married, the more I see and hear stories of messy marriages and notice the missteps in my own.
Maybe our depraved culture is to blame. It’s possible feminism is the problem. Perhaps, a societal lack of commitment is crippling the covenant. It could just be that social media is highlighting marital troubles more these days. Whatever the cause, there is only one person who stands to gain from messy marriages.
Before you think I’m overreacting, let’s remember the Bible likens the relationship between Christ and the Church to that of husband and wife. And for those of us fortunate enough to marry, the union between husband and wife is our most important earthly relationship. If our relationship to Christ isn’t right, we are going to struggle with our significant others. If we allow our earthly relationships to impact the way we understand our relationship to Christ, we’ll quickly lose faith.
Instead of modeling our marriages after God’s master plan, we are allowing the messes in marriage to muddle our relationship with the Master. That makes the attack on marriage a spiritual battle. If Satan can confuse our thinking by using our relationship with our husbands (or any other significant person in our lives) as a way of measuring God’s affection for us, He can cause us to doubt the truth about His grace, love, and mercy.
To overcome the messes in marriage, we must model our marriages after Christ’s relationship with us, not man’s.
4 Ways to Model Your Marriage According to the Master Plan
Forgiveness of sins is the basis for our relationship with God. Without it, we could not enter into His eternal kingdom. Christ demonstrated this on the cross not only by dying for our sins, but also in begging His Father to forgive even those who put Him to death. We ought to forgive others, especially our spouses, as He did. Not holding a grudge or exacting revenge for wrongs, but setting them (and ourselves) free from bondage to the mistakes we all make. If God is able to forgive us for the multitude of our sins, we ought to forgive one another and be makers of peace, especially in our homes. (Colossians 3:13)
Jesus is one with the Father and the Spirit. Together they are the One and Only Triune God. He says we have that same unity with God through faith. Husband and wife should share a similar bond to each other, forsaking all others and presenting a unified front in the face of all worldly desires and distractions. When husband and wife are obviously on the same page, we slam doors to Satan’s schemes to separate us. (John 17:22-23)
You may wonder why love isn’t on this list. After all, God is love, right? But Jesus said the most loving thing we can do is to lay down our lives for one another. That is precisely what He did for us. And what we ought to do for our spouses. If we truly love, we will sacrifice our feelings, and time, and treasure for their benefit. Instead of being selfish, we sacrifice for the good of our spouses. (John 15:13)
In a world of instant gratification, we seem to have lost our taste for things that last. Yet, once He has given us the gift of faith, God never lets go of us. No sin or mess can snatch us from His hand. Christ’s sacrifice on the cross secures our eternal relationship. Our signatures on marriage certificates signify our commitment to our significant others until death do us part. Satan is the enemy of eternity and he wants to tear us apart. Instead of keeping divorce as an option, let’s strive to keep fighting for our marriages forever. (Romans 8:38-39)
*If your marriage is an unsafe situation for either you or your children, nothing biblical says you have to stay. God is powerful enough to work through separations when necessary for safety.
To create a masterpiece marriage, light the FUSE and fight for your marriage according to the Master’s Plan – Forgiveness, Unity, Sacrifice, and Eternity.
To create a masterpiece marriage, light the FUSE and fight for your marriage according to the Master’s Plan - Forgiveness, Unity, Sacrifice, and Eternity. #messymarriage Click To Tweet
Liz Giertz is an Army Veteran turned Army wife and mom to two boisterous boys who call Hurricane, WV home for now. She is passionate about encouraging women to overcome MESSES and embrace their MEMORIES as they become the MASTERPIECES God created them to be. You can connect with her on her blog, My Messy Desk, as well as on Facebook or Twitter.
Liz’s printed workbook, When Marriage Gets Messy is now available at Amazon and Barnes and Noble on-line. It’s an 11-week workbook for wives who want to overcome 10 common messes married couples make. The comprehensive workbooks contain daily prayer, reflection questions to help you dig deep into heart issues, word studies, Bible Study material, date night ideas, memory work (not what you’re thinking), additional resources, and of course S-E-X! It makes a great individual or group study, or even a wedding gift!