#Your Story: Joanna Teigen on Prayer, Releasing, and Adoption

October 6, 2015 by Kristi 37 Comments

A cab ride crossed our paths, complete strangers heading to She Speaks 2015. At weekend’s finale, our friendship was in full blossom. I’m honored to call Joanna Teigen friend and fellow race-runner in faith. Her kind and gentle spirit draw folks, and her words are powerhouses for the Kingdom. She is the author of a book I HIGHLY recommend. (See my review for this wonderful prayer book here.) In the meantime, enjoy her testimony today as she brings God the glory.

Releasing and Receiving

We sat white-knuckled in family court that Good Friday, listening to the judge making plans for our foster son’s future. “Max” had been with us for over two years. He was knitted as closely into our hearts as if he’d been born to us. The decision that day? Caseworkers were ordered to explore placement with unknown relatives several states away. We died on the inside as we faced the possibility of never seeing Max again.

Later that day my daughters and I stepped into our church’s prayer garden. Crying and devastated, we begged God to keep Max safe and bring peace to our fears. The girls left toy cars at the foot of the wooden cross as a symbol of their prayers. When my husband saw those little cars during his own visit to the prayer garden, he broke down.

God’s answer was not what I expected. He didn’t make Max’s journey simple or smooth—the road held many months of twists and turns before it was over. But what He did say was, Give him to Me. On the day we remembered the Father giving up His only Son, we were asked to lay our precious child down.

Releasing Max to the Lord began a transformation in my walk of faith.

It taught me to pray like never before.

In this situation where I was so helpless, I could fall on God’s strength in prayer. I sang songs of blessing over Max as I tucked him into his crib. I’d plead for the Lord to grant him safety, salvation, and security. As I held him in my arms I would beg for strength to give him up. I needed the Spirit to give me a willing heart to obey whatever the Lord required.

**It exposed my attitude that our other four children were mine.**

Holding on so tightly to my kids created anxiety, thinking their well-being and futures rested on my shoulders. The stress kept me frustrated and controlling much of the time. Putting them back in God’s hands set me free to enjoy them more fully and accept them as the unique individuals they are.

It revealed my pride.

I was so sure I was the best mother Max could have. Of course I knew what was best for him—he’d been in our home his entire life. I thought I could do a better job of loving him than God could. Placing Max in God’s hands forced me to trust Him completely and take Him at His Word:

For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers,nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39 WEB

The judge couldn’t separate Max from God’s perfect love, even if he was separated from ours.

It opened my eyes to see God’s power.

Our journey became even more difficult as time moved on. Obstacles to adoption piled one upon another, building a wall only the Lord could break through. Moving through the prayers and efforts of friends, dedicated caseworkers, loved ones, and our church family, God gave Max a permanent place in our home.

We gave Max a new name at his adoption hearing. His middle name is now “Isaac”, since the Lord asked us to lay him down again and again. When I speak his name today I remember that God is faithful. He never asks us to give something up without promising blessings in return. Even if we had needed to say goodbye to Max forever, I received more of the Lord in that season than I knew was possible. He truly is enough to comfort any pain, soothe any worry, and surpass any joy this world may hold.

Meet Joanna ~

Joanna Teigen has been married for over 20 years to her husband, Rob, and is mom to two sons and three daughters. She and Rob are co-authors of 88 Great Daddy-Daughter Dates, A Dad’s Prayers for His Daughter, and A Mom’s Prayers for Her Son. She enjoys homeschooling, marriage mentoring, and life and laughter with her family in West Michigan. Joanna would love to connect with you at www.facebook.com/JoannaBTeigen.

Come join us for more encouragement here: #intentionalTuesday, Purposeful Faith, #testimonyTuesday, Jennifer Dukes Lee, Holley Gerth, Dance with Jesus, and Counting My Blessings.

MORE…

For previous #YourStory testimonies, go here. (You won’t be sorry!)

Not sure what to pray? I’d love to have you come alongside me, joining virtual hands in prayer. Check out these #Lordtoday prayers I post regularly on Facebook.

What Happens When Our Prayer Changes From “My” Will to “Thy” Will?

September 15, 2015 by Kristi 34 Comments

Have you ever transitioned “my” will to “Thy” will? It’s often not easy. Just look at Jesus when He spoke the words in Luke 22:42. But good things happen when that transition happens.

Here’s a story to encourage us.

What’s Thy Will?

“Will you pray for us, Kristi? We’re hoping to get orders to Northwest,” my friends requested as we exited the small white church, the grey sidewalk guiding each of our steps to awaiting cars.

Northwest was a military base, an easy commute for their country lifestyle. It made sense.

We were both Navy families and had bonded almost instantly upon arrival at the church two years earlier. But it was now time for new orders. There was no guarantee we would be together much longer.

As each of their hands reached for car door handles, I replied, “I can’t do that.”

Eyes went wide, gaping mouths did too. Over their now-open car doors, they stared at me in bewilderment. Their prayer request had been silenced.

“I can’t pray that because I don’t know if it’s God’s will for you. What I will pray, though, is that God will guide you in His plan, and you’ll choose to walk in it.”

They didn’t appear completely convinced. A mumbled thanks surfaced in the silence as their eyes unlocked from mine, and they slid into their car. The clank of doors closing and an engine roaring to life filled the air. Their car’s tires crunched across the stone parking lot, their rubber exiting onto the country road.

It was the juncture of a new prayer journey. Their route had just changed.

Championing my friends toward God’s plan was easy. It was their lives.

But when it comes to my own life, it doesn’t always seem that easy. Maybe you’ve been there?

There’s sacrifice involved. Trust. Laying down my plans for His. And we all know they don’t always mesh. Just ask Jonah.

“’Arise, go to Nineveh, that great city, and preach against it, for their wickedness has come up before me.’” But Jonah rose up to flee to Tarshish from the presence of Yahweh. He went down to Joppa, and found a ship going to Tarshish; so he paid its fare, and went down into it, to go with them to Tarshish from the presence of Yahweh.” (Jonah 1:2-3 WEB)

Uncertainty might come into view. Raise your hand if your flesh, like mine, wants a crystal-clear view of the road ahead.

Uh-huh.

Or maybe it’s certainty, a self-professed Jonah-esque confidence that seemingly knows…and doesn’t like…the outcome.

Anyone care to comment strong-willed?

Regardless of the cause, Jonah ran from the LORD. And it was a mess.

Running from the Lord, like a toddler with chocolate pudding, smears the clear complexion of faith. It’s dark and messy.

But to trust and run with God?

Oh my…. How we will run and impact the lives of others for God’s glory! And how we’ll be changed in the process.

Jonah, after he turned and headed to Nineveh impacted lives in more than a whale of a way.

“…[L]et them cry mightily to God. Yes, let them turn everyone from his evil way, and from the violence that is in his hands.” (Jonah 3:8 WEB)
“God saw their works, that they turned from their evil way. God relented of the disaster which he said he would do to them, and he didn’t do it.” (Jonah 3:10 WEB)

My friends could have championed Jonah in their situation. Northwest dangled and looked good. Oh, how easy to pray its way.

But my friends, in the midst of changing their prayer from “my” will to “Thy” will, found a treasure. They laid down their Jonah and rose with Jesus.

They found Sigonella. Miles away, an ocean and time zones apart, they found “home”. Their new duty station filled them and reciprocated others with new worship, new friends, and new life. It was good, and it was growth.

When Jonah trusted God

And Jonah? Lives were saved squarely in the middle of God’s will. Is there anything more to life?

All it took was a little trust.

(By the way, there’s the cutest little book on Jonah here. My kids loved this one when they were little!)

Where are you placing your trust today? Is it in “my” will or “Thy” will? Are you laying down your Jonah, rising with Jesus instead? Lives very well might be changed for God’s glory. Go for it, friend. Choose Thy will every time.

Unmasking the Good Kid in You

March 10, 2015 by Kristi 28 Comments

Flower with a white rectangle overlay containing post title

Are–or were–you a good kid? I was. It’s easy for parents and others, but is that good? You decide. Here’s my story.

The Good Kid

The crimson trickle was slow at the onset.

drip

drip, drip

drip, drip, drip

Soon, a flow of red began to fall. He quickly grasped at his nose. His hand slid underneath his bowed head, forming a cup of sorts. I didn’t see the ensuing havoc because he quickly ran away.

It had only been a slight touch on his nose. We were playing, simply playing on the playground during recess. My nine year old hand had seen older adults perform the “gonna get your nose” trick, and I had determined to mimic their actions. After all, little kids do play the game “Monkey see, monkey do” quite well. I was no different.

What child doesn’t love recess? Mouths water, legs tap in anticipation, and hands wring at the thought of going outside. There’s a jubilation, knowing that freedom is within reach. Certainly recess ranks in the top three for answers concerning “What was the best part of your day, kiddo?”

Good Gone Wrong

What had been a longed for, much anticipated, favorite time of day, however, was quickly souring this particular day. The blood flow on the schoolyard was a small indicator. However, the call to the principal’s office was an in-your-face, something’s wrong, huge red-flashing-lights indicator.

They were having trouble stopping the flow. An ambulance had been called.

I was scared.

Although I was concerned for his well-being, I was more afraid for me.

The thought of getting in trouble had my knees knocking. Oh, I’m not in love with writing that. The selfishness in it is like nails on a chalkboard. However, it’s proof that even “good” kids have heart conditions.

Yes, and even “good” kids need Jesus.

I had never been called to the principal’s office before, at least not for correction. I was the “good kid.” A rule follower. I didn’t like to get in trouble, so I didn’t. Work was always completed on time and to the best of my ability, and chatter was kept in tow.

“Kristi. Come with me, please,” said the principal. She was not smiling.

Tears flooded my eyes as I began the trek toward the office. It was only twenty, maybe thirty, steps to her office, a short, but not so sweet, journey. This day it felt like 5,000 miles.

By the time I sat in the awaiting chair, a muted, light green hard, elementary-sized version of a chair, my tears were flooding her office. I might as well have been in a police interrogation room. It felt that bad to my nine year old self.

I was about to get in trouble and my selfish desires were screaming. Central to the theme was me. The boy was nowhere to be found in the midst of my squirming thoughts.

The principal’s words rung loud and clear.

Why had I done this?

Why did I hit the boy in the nose?

Words flew through my brain in record time. They were scattered but gathering quickly.

I didn’t mean to.

It was only play.

Did I really hit him that hard?

I had no idea. I am so sorry!

No words came out. Not a single syllable was said.

When the Good Kid Goes Silent

Silence ensued as my downcast eyes stared holes through the floor. The principal awaited my response. It never came. There were only tears and the insidious slobber that accompanies it.

I don’t remember everything that happened for the remainder of the afternoon other than the boy’s mom came to help and his nose did eventually quit bleeding. Thankfully, he was okay. I do remember that I cried…a lot. Bucket loads of tears fell that day, enough to make Niagara Falls overflow during a drought.

After school I was whisked off to the awaiting slumber party for one of my classmates. What should have been a happy occasion, and was for all the other girls, was not enjoyable for me. I cried often. There were no more buckets in the county to capture the flow of my tears.

The principal jingled. (It was a small school where everyone knew everyone…and three generations to boot.) She knew where I was that evening and called to reassure me that the boy was okay. I should not worry and go, enjoy the party. That was nice of her, but I was already bruised from the whole ordeal. With puffy, red eyes and a snotty nose, my “good” kid heart recoiled. I had missed the mark of being “good enough”.

What Does Good Kid Mean?

Here I am, 35+ years later, forever glad that the bleeding stopped and sorry for the pain unintentionally inflicted by my very hands. However, the questions continue to linger. WHY didn’t I speak up in the principal’s office? WHY didn’t I let them know it was absolutely an accident and there was no malicious intent in my heart that day? Why didn’t I let the principal know I was sorry? Why didn’t I state my case, support my cause, be a lawyer in my own court of affairs?

Even more so…why didn’t I care about the boy more than myself?

Because selfishness sometimes wears a mask. And “good” kids have need for Jesus, too.

We all, rule followers, drunkards, “good” kids and troubled, have heart conditions. It doesn’t matter how good the package looks on the outside, our hearts need a touch from God. Concerning salvation, “good kid” status can be a hinderance because it hinges on our works and power–not the saving grace of Jesus Christ.

For all have sinned,
and come short of the glory of God;
Romans 3:23 KJV

It certainly starts with repentance for sins, but some stop there. They work hard to be good, reading their Bible, praying, attending church, and being involved in every committee possible. They are the adult version of a “good” kid.

But what about those quiet moments, when the “good” kid grown is all alone, just me and Jesus? What do we do then?

As an adult, I’ve had to fight that “good kid” mentality over and over. I want to look good and wear the mask, meanwhile my heart beats What about me? In offense, in frustration, in hurtful situations, I’m more concerned about me than those “bloody-nosed boys” involved.

It’s been a battle. It’s been ugly. But as the Great Physician has performed heart surgery, more little trinkets of ugliness have been revealed and healed. Selfishness and its friends have been unmasked by the very counsel of His Holy Spirit.

Today, I think of others more highly than myself. (Phil. 2:3)

It’s good. It’s been a relief. It’s freedom. It’s a work-in-progress. And it’s dead-center in His will. (Interested in more of my story? Read here.)

Are You a Good Kid?

Are you a good kid? You’ll know if you are. Do you recoil when turmoil hits? Do you lick your wounds in the heat of a battle and converse more about self, your hurt, or your offended self than God or others? Those may be clues.

It’s time.

Today is the day. Allow the Holy Spirit to unmask the good kid in you. Allow Him to reveal and heal those areas where darkness cleverly reigns. He’s faithful. And you’ll find freedom.

A Prayer for the Good Kid

The single most productive prayer I’ve ever prayed, and continue to pray frequently is this:

Lord, show me my heart. If there’s anything in it that’s not of You, reveal it. Heal it, Lord. Heal me that I might worship You.

The prayer is based on Psalm 139:23-24.

Always, always, always…in His faithfulness, God has answered that prayer.

Sometimes selfishness wears a mask. But then again, as we allow Him, the mask is removed. Press in and press on to maturity today, my friend. Consider the prayer. The Lord is worthy.

Joining Jesus hands with other encouraging writers. Want to come for the journey? Crystal at #IntentionalTuesday, Kelly at #RaRaLinkUp, the gals at #TestimonyTuesday, #TellHisStory, Holley Gerth, and Susan B. Mead.

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